


five times sousuke could have hugged rin and one time he finally did (and then one more)

by mercu



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-06
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-02-16 09:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2264880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercu/pseuds/mercu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>my thirst for a sourin hug was strong after free! es episode 10. this fic is the result.</p>
    </blockquote>





	five times sousuke could have hugged rin and one time he finally did (and then one more)

**Author's Note:**

> my thirst for a sourin hug was strong after free! es episode 10. this fic is the result.

1.

They lose. Of course they do.

Despite what Rin says to lift the team's spirit, 5th place is a disappointing development, but somehow, Sousuke is not particularly sad or angry. Mainly, he's disinterested, and depending on other people for victory (and having them _fail_ ) leaves a sour taste in his mouth.

He tells Rin as much.

In hindsight, he probably should have expected the angry outburst. It's not like he didn't know that Rin is _obsessed_ with the relay.

It would be all too easy to just reach out and apologize, to say something big and meaningful about friendship and the relay. Rin is a romantic weirdo, after all, and gestures like that mean the world to him. He would probably cry too, and afterwards there would be a tearful hug and it would almost feel like one of these romance comics Rin thinks Sousuke doesn't know about.

Except, that's not what Sousuke thinks at all, and he's tired of Rin stubbornly refusing to acknowledge his feelings because of his rigid, narrow view of the relay.

So instead, he says that they'll be better off on opposing teams.

Rin sulks for _weeks_.

2.

_'It won't be that bad. Iwatobi's not that far away,'_ is what Sousuke keeps telling himself as he stares at the box full of Rin's things balanced on his knees when they ride the train together.

_'It won't be that bad. We can see each other on the weekends,'_ he tells himself as he carries it into that huge, empty house.

Aloud, he says. “So this is where you're going to live now, huh? It's pretty cold in here. Maybe you should reconsider.”

Rin laughs at that. “It's only for a few months anyway. I hope.” Then he lays a hand on Sousuke's arm. His fingers are warm and his smile is somber. “Thanks for helping me move in.”

Sousuke doesn't like that smile. There's a finality to it, like Rin's closing the door on a certain part of his life, and Sousuke can't help but wonder whether he belongs in that part.

He's pulled out of that gloomy train of thoughts when Rin elbows him and practically shouts in his ear, unable to contain his enthusiasm. “Wanna go exploring?”

-

Iwatobi is small and in a few short hours, they are convinced that they've seen everything there is to be seen. There's a lot of time left until Sousuke's last train, so they sprawl out on the beach nearby Rin's new home for a while.

“That's a nice view.” Rin comments. “I could get used to it.”

Sousuke's fists clench of their own accord. Then Rin turns to look at him, and there's hope shining in his eyes. “You should come over sometimes. I mean, that house is really big. I'll get lonely.” A hand brushes briefly against his fist. Sousuke swallows through a suddenly dry throat and nods, lets his fingers relax.

“Okay.”

“We can go swimming in the sea. Just the two of us.”

“You'll leave before it's warm enough for that.”

Rin huffs in annoyance. “Fine, then we'll just take a walk on the beach.”

Sousuke smirks. “Under the moonlight, so it's more romantic?”

Rin's face reddens and he smacks Sousuke's shoulder. “Shut up.”

-

They exchange their goodbyes and a fistbump as the train approaches. Rin gives Sousuke the same hopeful expression as the one on the beach, and Sousuke wonders what it's about.

Then the train comes and the moment passes.

“I'll call you every day!” Rin shouts as Sousuke boards and then waves until he disappears from sight.

3.

When he sees Rin struggling in the water, unable to pull himself up, he doesn't think about the best way to help him or what to say to him. His body acts on instinct and his feet break into a run on their own accord.

As he dashes forward, the only thought going through his mind is ' _what's wrong? What happened? Why are you in pain?_ '

Rin's voice stops him in his tracks.

“I'm done swimming!” Echoes through the hallway and through his brain. It's the same thing that he's been telling himself for months now, telling himself until he believed it.

(He wonders whether that's the case for Rin as well.)

He wants to reach out, wants to shake some sense into Rin and shout all the questions out loud, 'why? What's wrong with you? What are you doing?' He wants to wrap his arms around the redhead and tell him that 'it's alright' until somehow it becomes true.

Instead, he watches, frozen in place, as Rin passes him by, looking angry and _defeated_ , watches the smaller boy run after him.

There is nothing he could possibly say to Rin to fix this when he's the one who's already given up on their dream.

4.

The odds of ending up in the same class as Rin are not quite in his favor, but somehow he's not surprised when it happens anyway. Rin, on the other hand, is completely taken aback; in fact, he looks more startled than _happy_. It's a little disappointing, but at least it's better than the third alternative. Even after returning from Australia, Rin hadn't contacted him at all, and at times Sousuke had wondered whether the redhead had simply forgotten about him.

He takes the closest free seat, as the ones next to Rin are all occupied anyway, and immediately feels a pair of eyes locking onto the back of his skull. He tries to ignore it, to let Rin stew in his curiosity a little, but his resolve has always been weak when it came to him, and he turns around after a mere couple minutes.

Their eyes lock momentarily. Rin's practically _vibrating_ excitement and confusion, and he doesn't have to mouth the 'what,' because it's perfectly clearly written on his face. He does anyway, and Sousuke mouths back, 'later,' because they're in the middle of class and the teacher is bound to notice a disturbance any second.

Rin continues glowering at his head for the rest of the period. Sousuke idly wonders if he's able to take any notes.

-

The class ends and for a moment, Rin looks like he's ready to approach him right there in the classroom, then apparently thinks better of it and instead exits, motioning for Sousuke to follow. So Sousuke brushes off the couple of new classmates attempting to start a conversation and follows.

Rin leads him outside and into the courtyard, and then just stops and simply _looks_ at Sousuke for a long moment, his gaze questioning. Sousuke wonders what he's looking for. He wishes he could read Rin's mind. He wishes he could reach out and hug him. He wishes for a lot of things, but for now he simply stands there and stares back, because he _needs_ Rin to make the first move here. He needs to know what ground they stand on. He needs to know if Rin's even happy to see him at all.

Then Rin moves and for a split second Sousuke thinks that he's going to punch him, until he _remembers_. It's that absurd, dorky secret handshake they came up with when they were kids and of course that's what Rin would go with, the huge _ridiculous_ romantic that he is.

They talk afterwards, and Sousuke means to tell him, he really does, except he can't bear to see Rin crying and in pain, _again_ , not now, not when he's laughing like that. He simply can't bring himself to stomp on this happy moment and grind it into the dust.

So he says he's been scouted instead.

(He's all too aware that the lie WILL come back to bite him in the ass at some point, but with how happy it makes Rin to hear that, he can't quite bring himself to care.)

5.

Rin is shaking against him, huge heaving sobs wrecking through his body, and there's nothing Sousuke wants to do more than put his arms around the trembling frame.

Instead, he waits until the sobbing subsides and gently pushes Rin away, because he has no right to do this, not right now, not after lying, after giving up, after pushing Rin away that one time, so long ago.

He thinks back to that moment, tries to imagine what it would have looked like if he'd just listened to Kisumi's advice and _tried._ Tried harder despite not understanding. For Rin.

He can't imagine it at all.

' _After,_ ' he tells himself, ' _after the relay, if I can finally understand._ '

+1

They lose. Of course they do.

It's disappointing, as loosing always is, but there's more to it than that this time. He thinks he finally gets what Rin sees in the relay.

Fundamentally, when you put your heart into it, it's more than just competition. It's _fun_.

-

“So? How bad is it?” Rin asks as they walk away from the pool together. “Do you need an ambulance?” Sousuke turns to check if he's joking, but Rin's face is genuinely concerned.

The truth is, he can barely move his arm right now. The truth is, the pain is a hot red flare under his skin and it takes a lot of effort to prevent himself from howling out loud. He considers bullshitting anyway, but it's obvious that Rin can see right through him, and at Sousuke's prolonged silence his expression starts to slowly shift from concern into annoyance. “Answer me, damn you! I swear, if you don't speak up in the next five seconds, I'll just drag you straight to the nearest hospital.”

It's probably the worst possible reaction, but Sousuke can't help but laugh at that. “What kind of a threat is _that_?” Then he hurriedly puts his left hand up in a gesture of defeat, before Rin can get any angrier. “Sorry, sorry.” His expression grows serious. “It's... pretty bad.” He admits and pauses, steadies himself with a deep breath. “I was actually about to go to the medical. You can go ahead without me.”

Rin's face falls and Sousuke can see then that he'd hoped, against all odds, for a miracle or something of the sort. His voice is dull when he speaks up again. “I should come with you.”

And that's about as much as Sousuke can take. ' _Have you forgotten all about what I said already?_ ' He's seen enough of Rin's tears today. He couldn't possibly stand seeing him like that right now. “Go celebrate with your team, captain.” They might not have won the relay, but it was still an impressive swim. Plus, Samezuka managed to snag quite a few spots in the nationals in other races.

Rin's fists clench and unclench and he grits his teeth so hard Sousuke can hear it. “...Fine. I get it.” He goes, and Sousuke breathes a sigh of relief.

“I'll see you later.” Rin nods without turning back.

-

He ends up at the hospital after all. The injury's bad enough to warrant a surgery, apparently.

Some forty minutes after he's admitted, Rin rushes into the room, red faced and breathing hard, as if he ran the whole way.

(He probably did.)

“Sousuke!” He shouts, and the other patients in the room all look up at him, utterly scandalized, but Rin doesn't pay them any mind. He makes a beeline for Sousuke's bed and for a moment just hovers uncertainly. “Are you okay?”

Sousuke moves to make some room and pats the spot with his left hand. “I will be.” Rin exhales slowly and sinks down onto the bed. He looks _deflated_ , somehow.

“I'm glad.” He whispers softly and slumps forward until his forehead is resting on Sousuke's uninjured shoulder. “I'm so glad.” For a heartbeat, Sousuke hesitates, and then carefully wraps his left arm around Rin's shoulders and rests his chin on top of the redhead's head. He figures he'd earned at least this small indulgence.

“Yeah.”

The position must be uncomfortable for Rin, but they stay that way for a long time. Every now and then, Sousuke thinks he can hear a choked off sob and there's a damp patch steadily growing on his hospital gown, but he doesn't mind.

At some point, the door opens to admit the rest of the Samezuka swim team, Nitori and young Mikoshiba in the lead. Rin stands up and hastily wipes away the tears. “You guys... What are you doing here?”

Mikoshiba grins and Nitori smiles shyly. “We couldn't leave a teammate like that.” They say, almost simultaneously.

Unfortunately, the sheer number of them causes a commotion that soon draws a nurse's attention. The herd is promptly ushered outside and sternly reprimanded, but Rin manages to beg off 5 extra minutes to say his goodbyes.

He returns to his spot on Sousuke's bed and rubs the back of his neck. “These guys... I told them to wait at the hotel.” He sighs, but there's a fond smile on his face. Sousuke notes that he looks tired; not surprising, really, after everything that's happened today.

“You should go back as well. Get some rest.”

“Yeah.” Rin nods and glances back briefly. There's a nurse in the doorway who looks at the clock pointedly when their eyes meet. “I can't stay long anyway.” He smooths out Sousuke's covers and straightens the pillow.

Before he can fuss anymore, Sousuke catches his wrist. “Rin. _I'll be fine_. Go.”

Rin rises reluctantly. “I'll see you tomorrow.” He promises, before disappearing behind the door.

+2

When Sousuke returns to the dorm, they switch bunks on Rin's insistence.

It turns out to be a terrible idea.

Rin tosses and turns on the top bunk, and with all the squeaking of the mattress and rustling of the covers above, Sousuke can't sleep.

“What are you doing up there? Stop moving so much.” He mutters eventually in mild annoyance. The sounds quiet down after that, but not for long; just as he thinks he can finally get some sleep, Rin starts squirming again.

“Do you want to trade back?” Sousuke asks, already rising, because it's not like he can't climb the ladder using one hand. It's not a problem.

“No!” Comes from above, slightly muffled. “I'm fine. I just need to get used to it.” The scuffling continues.

Sousuke grunts, then calls out jokingly. “How about you just come down here, then? We can share.” The scuffling stops.

For a moment it's quiet, and then Rin slides down the ladder. There are dark circles under his eyes and Sousuke wonders if he's been trying to get used to the top bunk back when Sousuke was at the hospital, too.

“Move over then.”

Sousuke opens his mouth to protest, because it was _a joke_ , then reconsiders and curls up facing the wall. Rin flops down next to him and, despite the cramped quarters, he's out like a light in a span of a few minutes. Sousuke ponders that phenomenon as he slowly drifts out of consciousness as well.

-

He wakes up in the middle of the night to a movement above him. “Rin? Wha- What's going on?” He mumbles, trying to discern what's happening. When he manages to peel his eyes open, he discovers Rin half-draped over him, half-wedged between him and the wall, somehow still sound asleep. He blinks a couple times, to make sure he's seeing correctly, and then shakes Rin awake, because, _what the hell_?

Rin beats him to asking the question, though. “Sousuke? What are you doing? I can't sleep like this.” He mumbles drowsily. He then elbows and prods at Sousuke until the latter, temporarily rendered speechless by the sheer _ridiculousness_ of the situation, obediently moves back towards the edge, and then promptly falls asleep again. Sousuke just shakes his head and closes his eyes.

-

The next morning, Rin is facing him and their limbs are inexplicably tangled together in a tight hug.

Rin flushes hot red and neither of them mentions it later, but come evening, they slip into the bottom bunk together again.

Sousuke decides that it was a great idea after all.


End file.
